Monday, February 13, 2012

Laying the Trap

OK, so according to a lot of people, Slender Man doesn't respond well to electromagnetism. Because of course he doesn't. So I've got this room here and I have lined the walls with electromagnets, because I have the resources to do that apparently.

In order to lure Slender Man into the room, I have laid bait. Keeping in mind my theory that he is a jock, the room contains beer, Playboy magazines, a TV turned onto ESPN, and a prostitute I hired to wear a cheerleading outfit and cheer in the corner. She's not that flexible, but I'm hoping that Slendy won't notice that.

You may be thinking that you've seen this experiment performed before. But you haven't. I am an originalist. Also, I'm not an attractive young woman with a dark and troubled past like the other ten people you may be thinking of. I'm an attractive young man with a dark and troubled past. So this is completely different.

Now let's see if I catch any fish.

Any Slenderfish.


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  2. You gotta do better'n that bro. Slenders is really loose y'know, He hates it when you go home with just one woman. All the honeys be wantin' up in His grill, you know how it is.

    But seriously, that's all in the past. He's got a cute little girlfriend up in Canada (or close enough) so that won't work. She has Him whipped real good so that whenever she call, He just better forget about whoever He be stalkin' right then and get up to do whatever the hell it is she wants. That's why He needs so many proxies these days, He can't get out to take care of everything Himself like He used to do, you know, gotta keep the missus happy you know how it is.

    Stay frosty.

  3. Let's see how the BUDGIE likes it when four gallons of Tango are poured down his throat.