Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Beginning

How did this all begin? How did I first work for that monster?

Simple. He was after my neighbor's dog. I loved that dog. It was so fluffly and friendly and it gave me doggy kisses whenever I stopped to pet it. I couldn't just stand there and let the Slender Man take that dog. So I made a deal: I would work for him in exchange for the dog's safety. He accepted.

The dog died anyway. Turns out Eldritch Abominations aren't very trustworthy.

So I found myself trapped, forced to be a monster for the monster. But then one day, this runner I was supposed to tear the fingernails off of, she asked me... "don't you want to be good?"

And I thought about it, and I said, "yes."

And then we ran away together, and we fell in love, and all was wonderful.

But then some proxies killed her in a drive-by.

So I was left alone, sitting in an empty hotel room. I had no idea what to do. I decided to just pay the hotel bill and leave, since my love was taken from me.

The hotel manager was murdered before I could pay him.

And now here I am, prepared to fight back against Slender Man and his proxies.

I... I shall REDEEM myself.


  1. i hope your dog was worth all the PAIN and MISERY and PAIN that you will suffer at his hands.

    if not, then i hope he was at least potty trained.

    if not, we'll...

    you got the short end of the stick, my canary friend.

  2. Oh, sorry 'bout that holmes. I think I was the one what shot your lady friend. I've been assigned to a number of drive-bys since I'm all from the hood and shit, y'know how it is. Gotta cap this mothafucka, 'fore he starts some shit and... shit. But I apologize, mah peep, I was young and inexperienced back then. Nowadays I would make sure to get you too.

    So sorry, canarylightbythelightofthemoonwiththesandwichofthecowjumpingoveryousothatitcaneatthechickenthroughthespoonwhatranawaywithitsdishandisflippingthebirdtothefiddledcatflippingtheswitchwiththelightswtichbluecanarylightswithlight


    I was a bad boy. And I'd do it all again if I got the chance, you got nothing on me! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!